my life would sucks without you

tired of everything

2012-03-05T23:18:00.001+08:00

Don't know what to do or say anymore

late post

2012-02-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

Didn't update again, this time is because 1. I'm just too busy with school and 2. I forgot my password. LOL.

Just thought that I should say. Or at least leave one post before I forgot about this blog again >.<

Gotta go and finish up on my work!

emo-ing

2011-12-07T23:57:00.001+08:00

My dear boy is leaving in two days.. Sigh. Already missing him so much.. :(

extremely happie

2011-11-26T00:34:00.001+08:00

2 more weeks to holidays! wheee~

I'm left with three more modules to clear for this sem.. Just got back my results for other subjects. Freaking happy! WAHAHAHAHAHA!

JIAYOU FOR THE REST OF THE SEMSTER!

Gotta go.. tomorrow is the regatta!

lappy~

2011-11-17T02:44:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure if I have already said this.. But just in case I didn't..

I got a replacement laptop like finally! Bf's still with me though. Haha. No time to transfer the stuff out still..

Okay. Time to go :D

up at this hour again

2011-11-17T02:41:00.001+08:00

I am going to sleep soon..

But just wanna to say..

I've completed the meat and fabrication module! WHEE!

Awesome time. Challenging but my chef is AWESOME! Not only he is knowledgeable, he is also very funny. Lecture is never more interesting. XD

Tomorrow is the start of FISH. Going to smell like fish for two weeks.. :/ Oh man...
And I can't even get to eat the fish we cut. At least not yet.. Oh well..

Time to sleep!

just one more thing

2011-11-12T02:16:00.001+08:00

Mon mari etre, est Benjamin.Je l'aime beaucoup. ^^

He is the best thing that ever been mine!
Thank you for your support all these while <3

happenings from aug till now

2011-11-12T01:46:00.001+08:00

Continued from where I stopped months back..School orientation basically just a talk and give out some information thats all.. Nothing much happened that. Nothing interesting at least.. Not that I can remember~School started shortly after. Lots of hectic stuff. First block I have nutrition, gastronomy, psychology and french. Nutrition things are similar to what I learnt in F&N, however, whats given to us in lecture no necessary is the answer. Then why is it being taught? Beats me. The assessments and stuff, not something that I will use in real life thats for sure. I'm not a very health conscious person :/

Gastronomy is cool but the topic is very dry.. and need a lot of memorising which obviously, I'm useless at. But its still very cool. Both nutrition and gastronomy are completed, results are.. average. Nothing that I'm proud of.. Psychology till now I'm still taking it.. Very interesting but very hard to do well. The concepts you understand but don't understand. What you understand is not what it is. And thats how I failed my first assignment in this school. =.=" I haven't fail anything for very long, unless taking nutrition into consideration. But again, that can't really count cause the way it is being assessed is ridiculous. Get one question wrong, you failed the entire quiz. How is it possible when the things inside is not even taught or the answer from lecture is not accepted? Go figure. Anyway, psychology really helps me a lot. Understand a lot of my behaviours, its still a challenge for me to understand this class though. I know I won't do very well but at least, pass please!

French is also in process. This is super duper interesting! Its literally the lesson that I looked forward to every time. The language is so cool! Its hard to learn cause I have no french background, but its just so interesting and fun :) Can't help but buy a dictionary to help me with it. And of course, play around and teach boyfriend ;) J'aime francais! whee~ Recently just had the french oral which I did average, somewhere in the middle and the final exam which listening.... I can't catch whats being said at all. Too fast for me =.=" DAMN. I wanna go France too! :(

Then next is culinary fundamentals, which as mentioned in the previous post. I shall not elaborate too much on this. Had lots fun, refresher module. Learnt quite a lot of new things, see quite a lot of cool things. I'm glad I'm a student here! :D Exposed to a lot of things that I think its hard to get outside. My chef know so much that whatever I asked, I get my answer. And he don't mind my silly questions. Hehe. Currently, 4th day of meat fabrication which is also mentioned in previous post. So far. Still manageable I guess.. 35 years of experience, wow. He wasn't kidding when he say that, my butchery chef seriously know everything about meat. Lesson is interesting and funny and very easy to understand. Practical.. Sigh. Is another thing though. Meat :( Suddenly I just have some grudge against you. Hmph.

Another thing is.. I am now working too. At a Italian casual dining restaurant as a commis chef. Helping out with mise en place etc. Flexible schedule like extremely flexible. Pay is good too. So weekends are burned working too. School work work school. Life? Where is it? Sleep? Less than 6 hours per day. Meals? Once per day. What to do.. No money no school. School fees are increasing every semester. How nice. But can't argue much about the education I'm getting though, with nutrition as exception of course.

Alright. Time to sleep. JIAYOU! Seriously work harder!

My dearest brain.Au revoir.

post in months

2011-11-12T01:18:00.001+08:00

As usual didn't update, downloaded the blogger app it wouldn't even load. Makes me even lazier to update. Besides, there's really isn't any time to do so. Everyday is so packed with work, projects and homeworks and tests and quizzes and exams. And more of them. Update? Don't even have enough time to sleep! But despite the fact that tomorrow I have to wake up early for work, I kinda felt the urge to blog.

Today is a very disappointing, demoralising day for me. Haven't felt so useless for a very long time. The topic for meat fabrication class today is pork, we were cutting pork center loin. I am extremely slow. Everybody is done with deboning and is moving on to tying the roast or denuting the sirloin yet I'm still there, barely halfway through the ribs. Had such a hard time deboning it. The meat just refused to come out nicely. It was frozen inside, held the meat till my hands are numb and blistered. Cut and cut, no progress still. Felt so frustrated why I am the only one so slow. Everybody seems to have no difficulty in this yet I can't do it. Finally get it out with the help of my partner, he cut his finger in the process.. Feel so bad about it.. Especially when the blood keep flowing and filled the glove with it :( The rest, tying the roast, portioning, denuting wasn't that hard. But I'm already depressed. Chef is happy with my overall product but I'm not.

Went to meet boyfriend and his parents in town, stuck in traffic jam for 1 and a half hour, doesn't make me feel better. They were buying clothes for holiday, a trip to Switzerland, dubai, germany and france, somewhere I can't afford to go now.. His mum got me a very expensive winter jacket, same design and colour as his for my california trip. Early christmas present. I supposed that did cheer me up a little.. Then we went for dinner at this very interesting Japanese pasta restaurant. Italian style but with Japanese methods and flavour. Not very pricey yet delicious and the portion is big. I totally forgot about the unhappiness. Until just now. I recalled that the grades is out. So I went to check it out. Everything was very good, almost full marks or close to it except for my finals which I just passed. It pulled my entire grade down. A lot. I could have gotten A, distinction but I can't. All because I didn't study hard enough, I was too tired the night before so I just went to bed without studying and only look through it before the test. Underestimated the MCQ.

Although now I have A-, I really could have gotten better grades if I can at least get 2 or 3 more questions correct. Can't help but think that I really should have read more but its really too late. Just so disappointed. The final result is not entirely out yet cause the system can't process a few of the components, but no matter how I calculate, I can never hit the percentage. Stupid me. My classmates are very nice, comforting me. I know there's really nothing I can do now, but can't help but feeling down at the moment.. All I need is one mark. Will there be a miracle?

it has been so long!

2011-08-25T22:42:00.002+08:00

X3

Again, I haven't been updating for so long. This time round, bout one month plus?

What to do? Have been so busy. Too tired to do anything else! Just last month I started working and now, I'm only left with 2 days and a few hours of working days. And I'm done with this place. Time flies. Just as I have gotten close with some of the new colleagues. Well, most of them are weird.. In ways that can't be described with words. Luckily, there are normal ones around :) PHEW.

During this period of not updating anything, I was actually busy working.. And preparing for school. And also.. Attending orientation.

Just last weekend, spent it on orientation. It was so tiring! Can't say that the activities etc are fun, but I did enjoy myself cause of my awesome tribe mates :D We did everything together, bond and just the two days we became good friends. Everybody is fun to be with in their own ways. No one is being left out at all. After the orientation however, next day at work, I have lost my voice. T.T Cheering and screaming and taken away my voice. Thus when I'm calling the respondents at work, I'm as gentle as I can. Haha.

Next week, there's another orientation. On my last day of work. Oh well. I guess I'll miss this place after I left. :/ Where else can you find such good supervisor?

im back!

2011-07-14T22:44:00.001+08:00

Update update!

Work has been quite slack these few days as I have completed my duties even before I reached :D haha. So I am very very bored at work. :/

its almost a month

2011-07-12T23:52:00.004+08:00

Again. I didn't manage to update.

Since that last post.. I got my com back and I sent it in again.
This time to the service center itself.
Apparently complaining got me no where.
They don't care at all.

This time they service again, reformat everything, change motherboard and keyboard again. After two weeks, today I just got it back.

So tell me, how do I update when my com is always not with me?
I think it spent more time at the service center than it is with me :(
Sigh..

Anyway.. Even if I wanted to update..
I don't have time.

I am working now..

Everyday work, from morning till night meet boyfriend awhile, reach home bathe and thats it. Sleep. Repeat the next day. Simply too tired to do anything else..

Now afternoon shift, sleep in the morning, afternoon go work.
Lucky for me, I have completed most of my work thus today at work its very slack. Its not exactly a good thing cause I am extremely bored. Yeah, there's a computer that I can use but there's even much thing I can do with it..

My job is to call people up for their monthly survey, but if they don't want to pick up the phone there's nothing much I can do.

Surfing the net is kinda... boring after awhile.. Especially if you have hours to spare. Oh well. At least I'm earning money still while I am doing nothing. Hopefully there will be more thing to do :)
And my colleagues are so fun to be with! But all of them are leaving at the end of this month :/ At least there's such thing call facebook. Haha!

Shall continue to transfer the files from my hard disk~

Update again soon :)
I hope ;)

one week of no sound

2011-06-13T02:14:00.002+08:00

Sent in my laptop last week with a complaint letter.. But till now.. NO call NO email from HP at all... :( If repairing, at least tell me what is wrong with it right? Going to call them later when I wake up..

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! YAY!

It starts rather well.. Baby wished me exactly at 12 midnight. With songs and a few texts. Hees.

But after that not so well.. BECAUSE I realised I missed the deadline to submit one of the financial forms for school...... T.T Called MOE just now.. Answered by machine.. Then.. I lucked out. End up my account no money. So even if I applied there's no use at all. PHEW.

Update a little before I head to bed..
Received my graduation photo.. Thank goodness my face is there! Although it looks a little weird with my hairdo and my stocking which I have no idea why there's a black shadow.. IT SHOWED MY FACE! WOOHOO! I was so worried that I am not facing the camera.. But again.. Judging at how the photo went.. I think.. I really didn't look at the camera :/ Its my first time! How will I know it will go so fast right? HAHA

Few days ago, baby surprised me with a bouquet of roses. Quite expensive.. >.< He told me to go downstairs of my house when I thought he was at somewhere else. When I came out of house just turning to the lift, he jumped out with the roses! Pleasant surprise :)

What happened before this week.. Before I sent the computer to repair.. I can't remember anymore! D: Too bad then :/

Ohhh.. Currently.. I'm no longer working.. Due to school starting soon.. But intend to still work on my blogshop which takes forever to take >.< We got awesome idea about what we are going to sell.. So. Once we found the manufacturer.. Muahahahaha! Thats where I hope the kaching will start coming in ^^

Before servicing again

2011-06-06T17:17:00.002+08:00

Haven't been updating for quite some time now.. But this post won't update anything..
There's not enough time..
Just thought that I should post something before I sent my laptop to servicing again.
Its insane that a new computer which is barely 2 months required so much repairs. And after repairing the first time and in fact they even changed a new motherboard for me, things didn't become better..

PLEASE CHANGE A NEW COMPUTER FOR ME.

I can't stand it anymore. Having to keep going down to repair is wasting lots of my time. Everything have to keep reinstalling. I have installed them more than 5 times already!

I was so happy to get this computer till now. Till all these stupid issues start to occur. AGAIN! :(

CelebrationsS

2011-05-16T00:17:00.002+08:00

Morning a lot unhappy things happened. We were supposed to go enjoy but something happened at home. To cheer me up too, Baby brought me to sit cable car for celebrations.. Hees. Take to Sentosa then hang around there.. Went to walk around resort world.. So many things to see, so expensive but nothing very very special..

Went to hard rock cafe for dinner! First time both of us eating there. I must say for the price, the portion size is HUGE! We had salad, satays and combo! And 2 glasses of cocktail which we can't finish. Haha. And we brought home 2 hurricane glasses! ^^ Dinner is awesome!!!!!

Took cable car back again and take one big round up to mount Faber then come down again to harbour front station.. So many things happened but I'm just putting into so little sentences.. Haha.

All I know is I had a awesome day! My superman managed to save my day again! :)

I did it!!

2011-05-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

Yay! I made it! I'm now officially a university student! YES! Institute of my dream ♥ can't believe I made it *tears* I AM SO EXCITED!

It was last night when I went into my email and discovered the email from the administrators.. I was very nervous as I click open the mail which asked me to refer to the attachment to see my results. AM SO RELIEVED and HAPPY that I am accepted! :)) If its not at night, or midnight to be exact, I would have screamed.

Turned out that few of my friends got in too! :D Going to California in 1 year's time!

Suddenly waiting for baby to call become very long. When he finally called, I told him about the result, he was in fact more excited than me. He SCREAMED. Haha. So cute. He's so happy for me and so supportive too. Always believing in me, even when no one else did :) I'm so lucky! Going to celebrate with him today! ^^

However the reaction was completely different when I told my mother. She totally don't care. So much for nothing..

my stupid com

2011-05-11T15:35:00.002+08:00

It came back after servicing for 2 weeks.. Guess what? The issue still persists. What kind of servicing is this? :(( And just now.. It just goes "bliz" whole screen closed with one line. I thought maybe is the charger I didn't connect properly so it shut down. But no. Nothing to do with the charger. When I on again, it says that the computer has not been shut down properly. SO this means that my computer is faulty. Totally no fault on my part. I was just on facebook for goodness sake. This supposed to be a high end laptop! Seriously?! Its not even 2 months yet! Yesterday tried to play games with it, lag like don't know what. Can't stand it. Have to send in for repairs AGAIN. And I'm very unhappy about this. Extremely unhappy! GRRRRRRRR........

And on top of all these. My brother just came to show off that his computer buy for 2 years also no such issue like mine. As if I'm not pissed enough. Hmph. :( I want to exchange for a new computer!!! >:(

hello!

2011-05-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

Haven't been updating again! Probably cause I don't have my computer for 2 weeks? >.< But again.. Even if I don't have my own computer, I still have his ^^ Its still not the main reason for not updating.. The only reason is I have been spending lots of time with him! XD

Last week after kayaking was a long weekend cause of labour day. So he don't have to book in until Monday night. So naturally we'll go out and stuff.. But on Monday, he got fever. So do I. T.T Went to see doctor together. Both of us got MC till Wednesday. So he only need to book in on Wednesday, and I texted my manager about my MC and took 2 days off as well.

So we spend the sick days together. I recovered 80% the next day, but he just got worse. Spend the next few days taking care of him :) Then on Wednesday morning, my colleague and I plus him went to make a police report on one of the male colleague about some issues that the company can't solve. Then we went to see doctor again because baby become worse, got fever again.

While we were at the clinic, I received a call from manager asking whether I made a report or not, and guess what? I was fired. My colleague is fired while she was working too. I called my boss, he said it was a misunderstanding. He said that the manager thought I pretended to be sick so that I can go make a police report. He then say he wanna hire me back :/ Seriously? Who won't feel that its cause of the police report that's why I was fired? It sounded that way though.. Cause she asked then I got fired. Oh well :/ I still haven't go back yet.. My that colleague that got fired same day as me found another job else where.. And that guy? We're waiting to see what kind of punishment he'll get..

Anyway so baby got 2 more days MC till Friday then book in. So spent the other days with him too. Book in on Friday cause need to confine for Saturday election. He then book out on Saturday afternoon at 2 plus as he need to vote too. Meet him again. Due to "confinement" which to him last less than 24hours, he only need to report in on Tuesday night!

Sunday. We planned to go out but I'm sick. In the middle of the night, woke up. Puked. Couldn't sleep till morning. But had to go make singpass so wake up, lunch only ate one mouth cause the smell makes me wanted vomit more. Unbearable. Baby came over and fetch me to go make the pass. Keep having the feeling that I want to vomit.. Took cab there cause wanted to reach as soon as possible.. Puked 2 times at the CC T.T Lucky the cleaner auntie not angry with me.. Supposed to go out with his family but my current condition cannot make it. So he sent me home by cab again.. Took a nap. Felt better. Dinner ate a little bit but no appetite. Went to sleep shortly after. But after vomiting so much, felt better already. Its cause of what my mum cooked for lunch the day before. :/ Couldn't digest cause I eat it like that plus my stomach very sensitive. So everything came out.

Baby was so sweet, I had a little of attitude problem cause unwell very unbearable, but he just very patiently attend to my every need.. Today felt so much better. We meet up again, go over to his place to settle some stuff. While we all going to leave for dinner, guess what? Our delivery came! Monster Beats Studio! Baby got 2 for us :D Just now was using it to talk on the phone with him while he using his to do the same. Haha. It was so expensive! But we got it cheaper by a lot!

Today was a great day! Me better, got our beats.. ^^ And baby recovering soon! He is sick for very long already.. Ever since he got that stupid fever, his body has been weaker.. And keep falling sick.. :( Now keep coughing. Suddenly got flu too.. So when he send me home just now, gave him my medicine.. Since we see the same doctor and got the same medicine.. Hope he will recover real soon.. Cough until like that.. See also heart pain :(

super tired is a understatement

2011-04-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

So tired. This week I've been working morning shift.. Which means I start work at 6.30am.. Considering the fact that i only managed to fall asleep like 2 3 plus everyday.. Its very tiring.. Especially when I have to catch the first bus in order not to be late.. Late for 1min alr deduct half an hour pay :( sobs. Pay already so miserable if still deduct I might as well don't work :/

Tomorrow going kayaking again.. I hope I won't be stuck on the water alone.. It would be very scary.. I'm still trying to recover from last week. Yawn.. My skin colour has obvious change and I'm peeling on my head' forehead and right arm.. :/ so fun to peel.. Haha! My forehead feel so smooth after the peeling.. My arm is in patches now.. My head is the worst. It looks like dandruff... T.T don't know what else to say about that..

Anyway.. Hope that I can complete the course soo that I can get my cert!.

updates!

2011-04-24T22:33:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging again.. Guess that work really drain me out a lot.. Plus the games that I have downloaded for the phone... Really kept me well entertained. Everyday is just.. Waking up eat lunch, go work, eat dinner alone, work again, go home, play computer, talk with baby then sleep. Very no life.. Cause work start in the afternoon..

Last weekend spent both Saturday and Sunday at Bedok reservoir.. There's dragonboat race and REACH got into the semis.. So I was there rooting for them and shooting videos of the race.. We had a mini gathering after the race.. It was a good fight. ^^ We are the only team who improved from the heats. THIS IS GREAT!

Thanks to Good Friday, baby booked out on Thursday this week.. I was working when he's out though.. But still meet up for dinner.. At blue mountain cafe ^^ First time we stayed out so late.. He almost no bus to go home D: The food there really cheap.. Considering how delicious they are and the portion size is huge. Yum yum.

Friday went out with him.. We went shopping then go to friend's house for gathering.. Got new clothes! The gathering we ordered pizza delivery which took ages to come.. Had lots fun.. Saw and learnt a lot of new things... Interesting..

This week.. I went kayaking.. On a kayaking course with the dragon boaters.. Its 0.0 Well.. its fun but at the same time.. Its seriously killing me.. I don't have much strength so the water are kinda heavy for me.. Everyone keep saying its very easy and the water is very light.... T.T Kinda depressing.. But I am the average student not the worst so still okay I supposed? Baby keep making sure that he is around me.. So sweet.. Got a girl there trying to hit on him.. -__- Fail of course.. Too bad. He's already taken.

Lunch we ate at golden mile food center.. Its quite cheap to a certain extent.. Lor mee 3.50 comes with lots of ingredients ^^ Capsizing test, swimming test.. So many tests.. Heard that next week there's more tests....... *groans*

After kayaking, we went to town for high tea.. At a Thai cafe.. The coffee are kinda..... Either taste too weird or too sweet -.- But their cakes are pretty interesting.. The way they combine different ingredients are quite unique.. However, I doubt I'll go back there again.. The main course portion are inconsistent.. :/ Hanging around then I saw a pair of shoes which are very nice and comfy.. But no size for me. Went to the other outlet at far east just to buy it. In the end didn't pick the colour that we reserved. Still very excited! Now I have same type of shoes as him. Only left his mum don't have.. Haha.

Sunday which is today.. Went to service my computer early in the morning........ Yeah, this computer has lots of problems.. Wanted to do something then everything go haywire.. Lucky nothing much inside.. All backed up already.. Just hope that they won't ask me to pay.. Its not my fault to get a faulty computer :(

After that go hot tomato for lunch.. So worth it! Cheap and nice ^^ Full to the brim. Next..... Baby bring me to couple lab to get rings for us ^^ Today got promotions.. We got rings with a cute lady bug.. My day is amazing!

suanz

2011-04-13T23:26:00.003+08:00

Walk here walk there.. So tiring.. At least, I'm earning now.. But so far still broke.. Kinda still living on baby's.. In fact.. I've been living from him since he's in ns? :/ Super generous.. But still we're not married.. At least not yet. So only use when I have to.

Getting used to working again.. The people here are.. Quite interesting.. Only got one person that I can't stand. Freaking annoying. I admit you have more experience than me in terms of hands-on cause you work longer than me. Which is only natural cause you are like, 10 years older than me? But it doesn't mean that whatever you do is right and others are wrong. I believe what my school taught me is right. Seriously can't stand him. I just ignore him now.. T.T

Food around work area is so expensive T.T One meal cost my 3 hours pay.. Oh my god.

workk

2011-04-11T12:45:00.002+08:00

I rejected the one at the bakery cause they sent the schedule way too late and didn't inform when they say they will. The person end up telling me something that I don't understand..

Anway.. Today is my first day of work!
So nervous.
But I have my personal cheerleader! :D

Need to buy black shirt.. Now wearing baby's.. He lend me two and his mum gave me one :) Still need to buy though.. He wear small but still kinda big for me >.< Hehe.

Jiayou!

SUNDAYY

2011-04-11T12:18:00.002+08:00

Meeting ♥ at 7.30 am today. But he missed his alarm.. So when I called at 7 he's just woke up. Then he came over. When he reached its about.. 7.45am.. He called when I just about to leave, I turned around he's at my door XD

Waited for the bus took a long time.. Guess that we missed the earlier bus.. We are going to plaza singapura again. Haha. To try the carl's junior breakfast. The breakfast is kinda disappointing.. Bought bacon and eggs buritto(total waste of money), the breakfast burger and the french toast.

The hashbrown are more than what mac give and it tasted exactly the same. Just that the shape is different. Anyway.. Mac breakfast.. So far.. Still unbreakable in our list.. Went upstairs to see headphones but its not opened..

After awhile.. We took bus back to his house.. To pack his bag and order clothes ^^ Rest of the day just sit in front computer and clicking.. He showed me funny videos from youtube :D Dinner is his mum's bee hoon~ Then I send him to camp..

Missing him already..

primary school gathering~

2011-04-11T11:48:00.002+08:00

Last saturday morning, I baked 2 types of muffins. Blueberry and chocolate. Blueberry, half of them exploded in the oven. Don't know why.. So I just took the rest and cut some oranges.

Meet them at marina bay station... From 13 of them who say will turn up. End up only left 6 of us. We still go to the barrage though.. Cause one of them is waiting at the barrage. We took cab there, proudly paid by the guys :D Haha.

Reached there, do some catching up.. Reminisce about the old days.. One reached one hour later.. But you know.. Just the 6 of us, things can be quite boring after a few hours.. Besides.. The people who said they'll bring games are not here. So we only have muffins, banana cake, potato chips and green tea and mineral water and orange. So.. You can guess the rest..

In between, there's this 11,111 face thingy that asked to take our pictures so that they can complete the challenge. So long didn't meet up, 8 years.. We took the photo in a rather awkward way. One straight line. Haha. After that they gave us some name cards and one wedding photo shoot voucher to be used by the end of this year.. The guys kept pushing to me and ask me faster get married. T.T I'm the only one attached there so.. But still.. Now also no money.. Have to wait a few more years..

After that I suggested that we watch a movie. We picked limitless at vivocity. So we packed up and go there. Reached, it was extremely crowded. The guys made a joke by saying second round of picnic at the cinema cause we still have food and drinks left. The potato chips can be exchanged for one pan pizza so one of them suggested that we go pizzahut for lunch instead.

And the lunch is at pizzahut. One packet of the chips is eaten the other is not. Not even opened yet. The staff insisted that we cut it for them. The packet will have one big hole there and they don't allow us to eat chips inside. End up we tear our the sticker for them. Took one picture of the whole group when the food arrived.

We refilled the drinks ourselves using our own. Haha~! The pan pizza is extremely small. Small enough that a 5 years old kid can eat finish by himself. :/ After eating, we sit around awhile more before going our own ways. We took mrt together though but all go different directions. The guys are going home to sleep. While the girls are going out. What a big difference!

So I went to meet baby and the dragonboaters at suntec :) He not feeling so well so didn't go for the extra swimming training with his manager at east coast. When I reached there, only a few of them. They went back after lunch, including his brother. Baby asked him to go back cause the rest of them are leaving so he took back both the paddles too. I think is because of what I said last night that's why.. I feel kinda bad.. :/

After sending them to the station, we walked to plaza singapura. We did a little sight seeing along the way.. Haha. Showed him whether the vanguard building is and the timbre@substation.. Then he brought me to SMU underground linkway cause I never been there before..

We bought the tickets for HOP at 7.15.. There's some time in between.. Went to starbucks but there's no space.. End up drinking carl's junior.. He bought me chocolate milkshake (so much nicer and thicker than mos), blueberry cheesecake and lemon tea. Sit there play with the straws till its time to go up.

The movie is AWESOME. Hilarious. Haha. Must watch XD

Walked to far east to take my bus.. Along the way tried to find some food but closed already. Went to the one and only quicksilver shop at OC. Very pricey.

When we reached my stop its already 11.. So I tell him not to walk me home cause he might missed his last bus.. Sit at the bus stop with him till the bus come..

Happy day!

Its a BLOODY business

2011-04-09T00:58:00.001+08:00

I guess today is not my day.. Keep injuring myself..

I can't find the peeler, so I used a very small one to peel the vegetables. End up peeling one of my finger by accident.That was all before he came back.

Think I got distracted or something.. I closed the fridge door on my thumb. Then cut my pinkie. I know the knife cut me, but.. I got a shock so I shake it. End up the blood splash all over my tank top. :/ go to the bathroom to rinse, drip all over the sink and floor.. I didn't know that till his dad asked who's bleeding.. T.T

Then the a part of the kitchen floor got it too.. I don't know why but I'm super calm. I even make a joke out of it. But baby didn't see it that way.. At least not when I was without plaster.

The dinner..... Sigh. I don't know how to use their oven.. So some parts of the chicken is under cooked. T.T Totally failed. :( Next time must try something else.. After that we washed the kitchen. So much work. Haha. Oh well..

Then baby walked me home today :) It has been so long since the both of us spent time together just the two of us. ^^ That I can't feel the pain on my pinkie.

knife cut me and I..
Keep bleeding..
Keep keep bleeding..
pinkie~

cookinggg

2011-04-07T23:37:00.003+08:00

Just cooked 3 eggs with onion. Now I'm full to the brim :D Eggs and onions will never go wrong. Perfect match! Just like basil and tomato :3

But that's not the main focus of this post anyway..
Oh, side track a bit.. Today's weather is insanely hot. I'm melting. Even now.. T.T

Anyway......

Last week baby say he wanna eat at home tomorrow night, so he tell his parents either buy back or cook at home. Few days ago, his brother says that parents won't be home. So I thought I'll cook for the three of us. Thought I'll cook mushroom soup, grilled chicken with black pepper sauce on mashed potatoes and served with buttered corn and glazed carrots.. And make mango ice cream for dessert..

However......

I just heard from him that.. His parents changed the appointment date so they'll be eating home tomorrow too! Well, I've baked birthday cake for his dad, made some tarts and cookies for them before.. But a full course dinner? Not yet. But apparently, tomorrow is the day.

I'm kinda stressed. Haha. My only concern is that its not filling enough for them :/ Plus he said I'm cooking for my in-laws. >.< The only thing that he keep getting wrong is ... he kept saying I'm the nu xu (son-in-law) when he meant xi fu (daughter-in-law). Super funny.. Haha. He always get it wrong :3 Its so cute >.<

So now the new menu become..

Appetizer: Cream of Mushroom Soup
Sides: Caesar salad
Main course: Roasted chicken on mashed potatoes, served with pan gravy and glazed carrots.

Everything is more or less planned.. Just left the shopping part.
The dinner got special meaning.. Haha. His treat with his pay from ns >.<
No GST or service charge. Haha.
Have to plan carefully.. If he reached home earlier like last week, then have to be ready by then..
But again..
Its really hard to say..

Oh well.. That's all for today.. Waking up early tomorrow :)
Its a BIG day!

Interview outcome

2011-04-06T17:23:00.002+08:00

Went interview at 3 places just now..

First one is at a bakery :) At first online only says they're hiring cashiers, but I saw they have trainee baker and kitchen helper too.. So applied for all three.. Turned out only left cashier. But I still accepted it anyway.. Starting work next mon! :)

Second one is at a bistro. Waited for 20 minutes, never attend to me, just keep asking me to sit there. So I sit. And noticed a lot things. Poor service, lousy manager, a lot complaints. Everything also very slow. I decided to forget about interview at this place and just go to the third one. This kind of bistro, I rather not work. The only thing I'm very interested about is the salad dressing anyway.. Oh well.. I'll figure it out if I go eat there a few more times >.<

Last one is a cafe. Pay one buck lesser than the bakery. Work as a barista and counter staff. Schedule very flexible and a lot things to learn so I accept too! Sunday after send him to camp, can go work cause they opened till 2am :D Free transport home too!

Now I'm officially employed with 2 jobs:) All start on same day. At least till the bakery give me my schedule and I give the cafe my schedule :3

Exam

2011-04-06T00:12:00.002+08:00

Waiting for food hygiene exam to come so that I can get it over and done with soon.. But the date is still not finalised yet :/

Just finished updating my resume.. It has grown from 3 pages to 5 pages now.. There are still some things that I don't know whether I should include or not -.- Think I'll just show them my transcript :) That should let them know what I have learnt in school.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tomorrow or rather today, waking up early to interview at a bakery! They're hiring cashier and service, hope I can get into the kitchen though :) From Hokkaido! So excited! x3

To you

2011-04-05T19:22:00.003+08:00

Oh, you know who you are when you read this.

We are stronger than what you think.
If you think what you say will affect us, I think you need to try harder.
Like a lot a lot harder.
There's nothing that I don't know about him and nothing that he don't know about me.
So if you wanna tell me or him anything, really, please just go ahead.
I would be glad to know something that I really don't know :)
That's very unlikely to happen though..

Besides.. Even though you don't put your name, I already know who you are.
Its very obvious :/

graduation ceremonyyy

2011-04-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

3 years flies so quickly.. Just received the graduation package.. Wow. I am graduating. Finally I did it! It wasn't easy but :) Its all over now.. Although GPA not that great but still above 3 so ^^ Oh well.. I tried my best :) And that's all that matters.

Going to get my cert in 1 month time! Best part is.. Mum and boy taking leave to attend the ceremony ^^

need a job

2011-04-04T17:39:00.000+08:00

Who wanna hire me? :D

new com + new game!

2011-03-29T14:39:00.002+08:00

So my laptop died the other day.. Then last Saturday went to funan to look for new one with boyfriend and friends. Found one but when decided to buy, the shop closed for the day with us just 20 minutes too late.

Boy went back on Sunday to help me buy while I was at the temple doing some rituals on my grandfather death anniversary. I meet up with him after that. He surprised me with Sims medieval collector edition! A new computer with a new game! :D This is for our 6th monthsary :) The game that I wanted :)) Super sweet of him! ♥

Tomorrow is my interview with SIT for my bachelor.. Hope I can pass it! Didn't prepare anything cause I don't know what to prepare.. Sighhhh.. Need luck. A lot of luck!

Rest in peace my first laptop

2011-03-22T16:18:00.003+08:00

My computer died yesterday, 21 March 2011. After accompanying me all 3 years in polytechnic.. It died. :( Its not impossible to revive it but.. The price for reincarnation is almost to getting a new replacement.. So guess I won't be reviving it.. At least the information inside are still intact.. I'm super lucky although still unlucky..

Baby being so sweet, guess what he said when I told him? He say he gonna buy me a new one with installments. I'm not going to let him do that of course.. Its way too expensive. Its the thoughts that count :) And he is lending me his computer cause he won't be using it since he's inside camp. So thoughtful!

Am going to send my phone in for service too. Tomorrow or the day after I guess.. No computer no phone :/ But his computer with me, his itouch with me, his iphone also with me. O.O Do I really have to worry about no technology for days? Not really, not with such a thoughtful boyfriend! ^^ At least being unlucky still not that unlucky..

Need to send in the resume soon. If not I'll be unemployed for too long! And need to start studying now.. Or else.. I don't know what to do during the interview :(

update update :D

2011-03-21T00:04:00.002+08:00

Haha. Didn't realised I haven't been updating this blog again..
I'm so exhausted!
This week has been my most unproductive week ever!
For the past one week I have problem sleeping at night, thus results in me sleeping at around 4, 5 am in the morning.. And waking at 3 plus for lunch T.T
After lunch, use computer to play games then dinner. And try to sleep. And fail. And so on..
This routine repeats exactly the same for like 5 consecutive days? o.o
Exam results out last thurs and I passed with kinda of flying colours! ^^
Am so happy!
♥ say he is very proud of me ^^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Finally my polytechnic life is officially over.
Don't know if I'm looking forward to the end or....?
But anyway.. I also received a call from SIT for interview!
And that is next next wednesday O.O
I'm super nervous! Need to study again D:
And also..
The food hygiene exam is the week after the interview!
Means more things to study! GOSH.
Oh and at the moment..
I'm still unemployed though..
Thinking of taking up a part time job as well as my blogshop ^^
Need to update my resume and sign contract for 3 months.. Hmmm.. Hopefully the pay is good!
Saturday went to look at the suppliers with baby..
Turned out that the items are wayyyyyy to pricey :/
But saw a lovely dress which is still on my mind XD
So gonna find it online! Haha.
Alright..
Time to try to sleep again ^^

i am really really tired :/

2011-03-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

Didn't sleep last night.. Was up the entire night calculating the cost for the shop items.. O.O
He was up the whole night too.. Trying to repair his computer.. Haha.
Different place same time didn't sleep too T.T
Tired tired tired.
My chocolate received positive feedback!
Haha. ^^
Effort was worth it! :)
But the orange ones are still.... in the freezer :/
Harder but still not good enough.. -_-
Guess that next time the ratio of the orange juice to chocolate content must be lower now..
D:
At least he say he loves it ^^
Need to earn money!!!!!
But I lazy to work.. Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Ahhhhh...
I don't know what to do :/

chocolate!

2011-03-11T16:14:00.001+08:00

Made some chocolate for him ^^
The almond flavours are very successful..
My unique blend of orange flavour is still trying to harden in process..
Waited very long for it already..
GOSH.
It need to hurry up!
Need to go pick baby soon D:

im boreddd

2011-03-10T00:34:00.003+08:00

Another boring day...

Friday onwards is better :) I need to work :/ But its all so..... Sigh.

Seriously hope that guy will stop contacting me.

NO MORE SCHOOOL!

2011-03-07T00:06:00.002+08:00

Finally! Exams are over! This indicates the end of my poly life..
Sigh..
Although many unhappiness but I still wanna stay in school :(
Exams ended last wednesday..
The papers were alright though I feel that I will fail one :( Hope not.
But now that no longer have school.. The holidays seems like it can never end..
Wanted to look for job but think I'll settle for my blog shop :)
Can work with my ♥ :D
Need to do some business calculations for his parents and maybe help them set up the business..
Sure hope that I won't count wrongly..
That's definitely not a good way to impress them.
Oh well..
Don't know why I feel so tired..
Straight after exam on wed I meet up with my sec school besties for dinner and had lots fun going different places to eat. Haha. :3
Spend the first day of "holiday" playing sims 3!
So wanna get the rest of the expansion pack and the new sims game but money is forever the issue :/ sigh.
The next day went to school collect my testimonal for my application..
Went home watch some videos then fetch baby from camp! XD
Spent whole Saturday with him :)
Watch I am number 4, eat awesome western lunch and meet up with his friends for ichiban dinner >.<
Despite not feeling well, he still spend the day with me outside cause we rarely have the chance to go out on a date.. Super sweet yet I really don't mind if he had to rest at home..
And today!
I became a barber.. A very fail one though :/
Still have some long hair though..
My second time helping people to shave..
First time is shaving his, second time, today is shave his brother..
Gosh.
Cutting or shaving hair is really not as easy as I thought it would be!
Still very fun XD
Anyway..
Am really exhausted now..
Going to sleep.. Need to wake up early to answer call! :D

T is for tired

2011-02-28T00:13:00.002+08:00

Gosh. I'm super tired!

But still have to study.. Sigh. My eyes can barely open.. Zzz..
And today is anniversary! Too bad no date only study.. Sigh.
Last 2 days of school..
Need to work hardddd!
I know that but why no motivation? :/

tired :/

2011-02-23T21:25:00.003+08:00

Feel so tired. Even after sleeping most of the time today..

Not very productive in revision today :/

Sigh.

Jiayou! Last year already.. :)

my superman

2011-02-22T15:38:00.002+08:00

I was listening to this song and it reminds me of my boyfriend who is in ns. This song I showed him about my decision in him wanting to sign on as a pilot. I couldn't accept at first but he said he did it for us. For me. For our future. What else can I say except to support him?

Though now he decided not to anymore cause of the time that we have to be apart. But this song still made me cry everytime I listen and sing along.. I just miss him so much..

I wonder if he knows how much I miss him

feel lyke zzzzzzz-ing

2011-02-21T14:31:00.001+08:00

Feel so tired. Don't know why :/
I wanna sleeeeeeeep!
But can't.
Need to study :(
Sad student life.

so happie!

2011-02-20T18:09:00.002+08:00

Finally see him! Happy is a understatement ♥
Spent 3 days with him to make up for the 10 days apart.. Haha.
Tired but time is well spent :)
Its absolutely worth it!
:)

My week is now completed :)
I can't wait for next week when he book out again :D

This weekkkk

2011-02-17T12:30:00.003+08:00

Has been a long week. Shorter and more manageable than last week but still as tiring. In fact, more tiring.

Last week is the rushing of projects, sleepless nights due to school work and of course the absence of the boyfriend. Presentations, projects, preparation for event. Everyday wake up early and sleep late. That is why, now this week everyday I sleep a lot still feel very tired.

But anyway... That's last week and its over.

The last few days of chinese new year was boring. In fact the only fun I had this new year is the 4 days I spent with my family and his family and relatives. Well, all the details about all these shall only be revealed on the tab. If interested, click on it :) I'm not going to repeat the same thing twice. Haha.

So this week quite a few things happened. Conflicts between friends, close friends, best friends. Guess everybody are stressed about the upcoming exams :/ Oh well.. Hopefully things will get better soon :)

My grades for this semester are great! As least so far so good! I thought I would have failed some of them but miraculously I passed! And even got B! WOW. I'm just so shocked. 0.0 And relieved of course.. So that's why I am starting revision one week before or rather two weeks before the exams.. Kinda not my style, I usually do last minute study the night before. >.< But I supposed this is a good chance for me to up my GPA so why not right? I shall try :) Wish me luck!

There's another thing that has been going on but I didn't tell anybody.. Me and boyfriend are starting a online stop! The website is already up but not the products. Still in the planning stage though. Must make it work! Hopefully :3

Okayyy.. Seems like I always forget what I wanna do or say recently.. If I remember, I shall post again. Till then, :)

I am going home to sleeeeep now! XD

Study study study

2011-02-17T12:26:00.007+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school in poly.. Next week is my exams. And the week after. So far I've completed 2 subjects' revision notes already! YEAH! Left one last one tomorrow.

I am exhausted.

But tomorrow I'm going to see him! First time since he went to army. So excited!

Finally I'm not alone anymore :)

IMPORTANT!

2011-02-17T11:30:00.003+08:00

To those who have read the previous posts about my love life, I have deleted and move them to the tab "love story". This is so that only people who are interested will read. If you don't like what you are reading, I won't force you to stay.

XD

2011-02-17T01:18:00.005+08:00

Haha. Just for your information, this blog now I supposed most of the things will be about my ♥ HAHA. My life just revolve around him :) My source of happiness.

Oh and this blog, all the links and headings are all from songs :DD One of the ways to personalised my blog :) None other than songs that descibe my feelings :)

These few days don't know why, but I feel extremely tired. Ever since the event on Sat. Oh wait. Have been feeling very tired wayyyyyy before that. Sun didn't managed to catch up much on sleep cause my relatives came to visit early in the morning. But I slept the afternoon away. And the night. Monday wake up at 1pm to eat and rest 1 hour to go back to sleep till 7plus at night. Eat then sleep again. Tues woke up late, had to rush to school. Prepare revision notes in school till late.. Discovered new yoghurt blend :D (YUMMMMMY!) Go home sleep. Today wake up 1pm! Till now.. Still super tired :/

Anyway.... Shall blog again soon! For the time being, its just my lovely bear and my bed and me!
Goodnight! :)

Back in 2010

2011-02-16T00:06:00.002+08:00

2010 has ended.. Now its 2011 Feb already..
SO much have happened over the last few months since I last blogged..
September 2010 is a very significant month in my life..
Many things happened..
Ever since I went for my internship, I have been having the tao hua yun aka peach blossom luck.. Frankly speaking, it is rather disturbing especially when they just keep coming when you showed no interest at all..
But that point of time, I was having issues with my now ex-boyfriend.. Way too many conflicts and unhappiness. All I wanna do is escape. Because seeing him or even hearing him just makes my life very miserable. All because of lack of understanding for each other. We have been breaking up quite frequently already.. September just became official.
Breaking up is never easy. Its only a little easier for me this time because we haven't been meeting up for quite awhile.. But its not the same for him. In fact he became the nightmare ex-boyfriend. This nightmare sticks with me for another 1 month before it finally subsides. Now I heard that he went hong kong to work.. Hopefully he'll find someone who is suitable for him..
Thats one significant thing..
There's another one.. And it is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me..
Its very long, so I shall continue in the next post :)

Love my blog skin!

2011-02-16T00:00:00.002+08:00

After disappearing for so long, I decided to come back and revamp the whole blog :)
No longer emo looking! Haha. Because now I'm no longer the same stupid girl that I used to be..
Okay!
After this post I shall update everything :)
Not that I think anybody is reading, but its just for me to remember :)

so tired that im gonna dieeee!

2011-01-12T01:59:00.003+08:00

Super extremely tired..
So long never blog already..
Kinda lost touch..
Should update soone I guess..
Quite lazy recently...
Especially with a lot of things to do :/
Sigh....................................................................................

Im lost.

it has been so long...

2010-11-30T23:57:00.002+08:00

I haven't been blogging for a few months now.. Been quite lazy.. Wanted to but.. Oh well.. Just lazy..

There's alot things that have been going on lately.. In my life..
Relationship, friendships.. all these.. So hard to maintain? Hmmm.. Maybe maintain is not the word I had in mind.. But I shall stick with it for the time being..

I feel so tired.. Lately..
I think I'm sick..

haiz haiz haiz

2010-10-03T12:44:00.002+08:00

So long never update again..

But I don't know what to say now..

Except that I think I should keep everything inside now..

I'm so tired!

bo-RINGGGG

2010-09-12T23:10:00.003+08:00

So bored. What kind of holiday is this without any excitement?

Nothing to do.. Stuck at home..

Unemployed, go out spend money only:(

My dresses flyyyy away :(

SAD. Out of stocks..

Had to go out and hunt again soon..

Feel like doing something but I don't know what to do T.T

skin failed.

2010-09-10T00:06:00.001+08:00

Went to create a skin but too big. After resizing all the lines out of shape. Wasted D:

So irritated that despite my tiredness I can't fall asleep..

Why am I waiting again for something that doesn't exist?

Tsk.

_ _ _ _ who need them?

PAIN PAIN PAIN

2010-09-09T01:11:00.004+08:00

Stupid pot drop onto my feet now bruised and is freaking pain :( Can't stand can't walk..

Why so unlucky today?

Stomach pain also.. :(

But on the bright side, my ears finally recovered from the piercing! YEAH!

Budden my stupid giant pimple is still stuck there on my head :(

SO ARGH. Hate it. But it just won't go away :(

And more is coming out..

Then maybe I shouldn't have youth then the beans won't come find me T.T

Hope it go away soon :(

blogskins

2010-09-08T12:54:00.002+08:00

Actually wanted to download a new skin but they don't describe my feeling right now..

Guess I'll just make one myself :/

said & done

2010-09-08T12:27:00.004+08:00

Its raining really heavily.. As if the rain can understand what I'm feeling now..

Asking me to have a walk in the rain..

Because no one can see or hear my tears..

Today is not a good day..

But can't say its a bad day either..

Because I've done something good..

Something that I should have done long ago..

Its not good for me but good for you..

Rain.. I hope you won't stop raining..

Then I know at least you're here with me when I'm sad..

But I won't tell you the truth that's for sure..

The more I say the more you say

The more I know.. I just know..

That me, this girl, can only stay like this..

Yeah, I'll smile and laugh as if nothing is wrong cause I won't say anymore..

I won't try anymore..

Don't dare to try anymore..

Truth hurts. More than anything else..

i wonder how i wonder why

2010-09-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

Just suddenly feel emo now..
It just comes suddenly this weird feeling..
I finally realised what I wanted and what I need..
But the sad thing is that I can never have it..
At least, not in this life..
Its within my reach but its not meant for me..
Sigh..

Things I'll never say.. Things you'll never know..
Even if my happiness is short term..
At least that period I still wanna be happy..
Too bad you don't know..
That actually my 6th sense is quite strong and I can tell..
I can tell that I'm just substitute.. Just for show..

My old problem coming back to haunt me..
Heart and kidney.. So unlucky..
Gotta take more notice now..
No appetite really don't know why..
Lucky had a great dinner today..
Cause that's the only meal I had today..
Don't feel like eating, don't know is it cause no mood?
Or something is seriously wrong with my body?
But I'm not becoming thinner so it might not be anything at all..

I know everything now crystal clear..
Can't go to anyone just myself..
Will just keep everything to myself till its all over..
Go to a place where no one can find me..
A place that is very quiet..
Peaceful.. No stress..
Just me and the sky..
The sea and sands..
Find a spot and bury it all away..
Then maybe I can try and be happy again..
Just me myself and I.. Against the world..

It has been a very tiring and stressful journey..
Full of ups and downs.. More downs than ups in fact..
Been through different situations..
Experienced different emotions..
Been loved and cherished..
But not for long..

I don't know what else to say except that I'm really tired..
I wanna have a rest.. Hopefully fall asleep and never wake up..
But that is very unlikely to happen..
I just.. Wanna find a place to hide..
Somewhere where I can cry in peace..
Till I'll never need to do that again..
I'm not strong, but I will learn to..
All these things that I went through changed me..
For good or bad I not sure..
All I know is I am now different..
And I'm going to run away..
Lucky now is holiday, no school to prevent me from running..

Maybe I'll reply messages maybe I will answer calls
The possibilities are quite low though,,
But don't worry cause when I'm back
These things wont hurt me again

Here's a song from final fantasy 8, eyes on me
Don't why this song just pop out in my head as I was typing this..

I never sang my songs
On a stage, on my own
I never said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real? Or just my fantasy?
You'll always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old song just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kinda like it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you never hurt
As if you never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly, but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you're no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanna be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know?
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

its the puzzle of my heart

2010-09-08T00:02:00.006+08:00

Songs that describes how I feel.. Just too perfectly..

Taylor Swift - Mine

You made a rebel out of a careless man careful daughter..
You are the best thing that ever been mine :)
Braced myself for the goodbye
Cause that's all I ever know
You took me by surprise
You said, I'll never leave you alone...

3OH!3 - Double vision

I'm thinking maybe I can't have any relationship
Cause lately they're not making any sense

Bruno Mars - Just the way you are

If perfect what you're searching for then just stay the same
Its so its so sad she don't see what I see
Because you are amazing just the way you are

Rob Thomas - Mocking bird

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere
We can't move or we can't stay here
Well, maybe we just had enough
Well, maybe we just ain't meant for this love
You and me tried everything
I don't wanna love you now
If you'll just leave someday
I don't wanna turn around
If you'll just walk away

A rocket to the moon - Just the way you are

Can you promise me that this is right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to

Michelle Branch - Getaway

Want to run want to chase the sun
Let it wash the world away
I want to getaway gotta getaway
Cause I need a change, yeah I need a change
Take a ride to the other side
Give me where I can breathe

Switchfoot - Your love is a song

Your love is my remedy

Hedley - Perfect

I'm not perfect but I keep trying
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality

Joe Brooks - Superman

Cause I'm no superman
I hope you like me as I am

too awesome :D

2010-09-07T23:44:00.002+08:00

Pictures are very hard to upload to the order I want so I decided not to post any at all.. :D For my own convenience.. Anyway the pictures are at my facebook so if interested just go there and press :)

Continue from previous posts.. IT show actually quite fun, can consider working there again if I can still remember what are those things? Haha. Learnt alot of things which I don't really think will be of much help to me now, but still I learnt new things so its great :) Can't wait for school to start.. :/

I think I officially blew my hotel gym job.. Sigh.. So I'm unemployed till F1 starts.. Gotta find something to do soon! Still have more trainings~

Just went for a dinner with ping! At the french stall. Its simply awesome! Reasonable price, good service, awesome food! Plus its near my house~! Wheeeeee! Had a three course meal plus a glass of riesling shared with ping~ Am definitely going back again :)

RECENTLY....

2010-09-05T00:05:00.002+08:00

Updates updates..

1. Dentist trip. Cause: stupid coke. There's no way am I going to drink coke again. NEVER EVER.

2. Rlitz Carlton job: Most probably due to my IT show and F1, they decided not to hire.. Not sure still waiting..

3. F1 training still haven't call yet.. Late like the hotel~ thus date: unsure

4. IT show job. First time doing.. Seriously I have no idea at all what are those things and what they're used for until I go and work as this. Quite cool actually just that I have to know a whole chunk of stuff that I seriously have no clues about :( But not so bad since I have my team to help me with the things that I don't know (which is really alot).. HAHA. But after selling more, those common ones I can explain already..

I'll go into details soon.. Now I need to sleep.. Its the last day of the show~~ And I'm going to earn lots and lots of money.. So tired..

real updates kay ^^

2010-09-01T01:21:00.003+08:00

HAHA. So here's the real thing..

After intern I had been quite busy.. Work at singfest and part time for my company. Some unbearable and unreasonable and unfair things happened to my salary thus, I decided not to work for them anymore and hunt for new jobs. What for work so hard and your pay got problem? People beg you to work, work ridiculous long hours. Imagine 41hours in 3 days. How many hours did we sleep? Not to mention the fact that we had to wake up early to travel to the other end of Singapore. How nice. And this is what we get in return. Unfair treatment. A few hundred dollars different. How to laugh at it? Just say that its miscalculations and we the foolish trio who trusted you, had to suffer. And others just simply take and go. Who will accept this? Who can accept this? Our hard work, our tiredness, all these people who worked with us can see. YOU. Who pushed every single responsibilities to me, a part timer while you sit down there and claim that your computer hang. You begged us to help, yes, you did. And this is what you did. Amazing. And the worst part is, you asked me to keep this to myself. Oh, why should I do that? After all the things you have done? Really? You really think I'm so easy to be bullied? You just wait and see. This is no joke. You deserved to be punished. Don't even dream that I will ever help you again. This is my first time, its also my last time. With your working attitude, I'm surprised that you can even get this position that you are in. Simply brilliant. Continue like this, I can assure you that you will lose a lot of diligent workers under you. I'll be very happy for them to be able to escape your rubbish treatment.

Above is one of the reason why I didn't update cause I'm very irritated, frustrated, pissed, angry, annoyed, disappointed with the above situation that the mastermind. It's very clear already. So don't ask, cause I'm mad just by thinking about it. Thank you.

Next, after all the nonsense, I sort of resigned and left. Went for F1 interview and training, got the job. Someone from the F1 interview asked me to work for IT show. Hence, got another job. My friend also get me a interview at rlitz carlton.

Went for IT show training and rlitz carlton interview. Training was horrible. Had to memorise whole tons of things that I don't even know what the heck are they. Not to mention the fact that I don't even know how those things work and etc. The worst thing is I had to sell them in order to get my commission. Otherwise I can only stick to my miserable basic pay of 5 bucks. =__= Who say work is easy? If I don't have commission means I work 40hours for 200 only seems very little to me :( Had to memorise by THURSDAY. OH MY GOD.

The interview at rlitz carlton went fairly well.. Interested to hire me and friend, however the supervisor was kinda shocked to know that there are days when we can't work. Like the IT show days and F1 days and training and etc.. AND I REGRET ACCEPTING THE IT SHOW JOB. STUPID ME. :( Went for a tour around the facilities then went for me tea at subway.

Ate 4 meals today! 1st meal was at the koufu food court. I ordered hokkien prawn noodles which cost $4 but the uncle give me discount and I got a giant plate at $3! Obviously I can't finish all D: But it's great! Second meal was the subway cold cut trio... Third was mum's green bean rice~ Last is my satay supper!

I'm such a good service provider. I walk to buy the satay. I pay for it. They eat. I eat. I clear the mess -___- Such a good service provider right? TSK. Oh well, at least its one of the rare times now when the whole family get to enjoy something together. It's worth it :)

Lastly, I'm going to see a dentist tomorrow.. My small little tiny teeth don't know why there's something wrong :( Had to see dentist soon before something major happen. GOSH. Don't even wanna imagine me teethless at this age. :(

Alright Miss L. Hope this long long update full of complaints can satisfy your curiosity.

Oh, by the way.. I got new ear rings and a bracelet that can actually fit my so thin and tiny wrist! I'm so happy! My shopping buddy found them for me :) heh. I'm still hunting for a new hat & shirts. Had a wardrobe full of clothes but when I wanna go out, really, there's nothing to wear :( I need shirts! More formal kinds :/ It's time to get back to the BLOGSHOP :D

Maybe tomorrow.. Just maybe.. Don't get your hopes too high up.. I might add some amazing songs that I'm addicted to now :) (& I really wish I have time to make a new skin:/)

dotsdotsdotsdotsdots! DOTS! :D

2010-09-01T00:43:00.003+08:00

This is for the MISS L who seems to be very interested in my thoughts. ZZZZ

The title states everything.

DOTSDOTSDOTSDOTSDOTSDOTS :DDDD

Know why?

Oh my gosh..

You sure you wanna know why?

Hmmm Miss L?

Let me think of a nice and simple way to tell you...

How about....

I'm just bored and don't know what to say yet. And this post is just to satisfy your curiousity about my dots and more dots? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA~

Go study! You and my sister the same. Both not studying when you should.. TSK.

Come back later when you take a break. I got no kit kat for you though.. I need one too! That's why I tell you to buy XDD

YAWN~!

2010-08-25T00:44:00.002+08:00

Another boring day~
Yawn~
So bored. Nothing to do~

If I could be your superman
I'd fly you to the stars and back again
'cause everytime you touched my hand
You feel my powers running through your veins
But I can only write this song
And tell you that I'm not that strong
'Cause I'm no superman, I hope you like me as I am

B for boring

2010-08-22T23:52:00.004+08:00

I'm so bored! So long never update.. Too lazy... ZZZZ
But I'm so bored that I come to type again..
However, I don't know what to say..
If update also very too much to say, to the extent that I can't really remember :/
So much time but don't know what to do?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Going to make a new skin soon~ at least that will waste some time :/
So many nice songs but why so hard to find?

Now I'm stuck HAHA.
Guess I'll just end with a song :)
Its awesome!

Allison Iraheta - Don't waste the pretty

Dust it off, break it down
Get to what we're talkin about
To what we're talkin about..

Don't try to hide it now..
Why keep on workin it out?
You can't keep workin it out..

'Cause I see how it's puttin you down
I just can't be around what you doing this for?
'Cause the light in you started to fade
Don't let it get away girl you're worth so much more

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you got to see;
Don't waste the pretty
Heyy.

Sit back and breath it in
Look at how lucky we are.
Look at how lucky we are
This life we're livin in,
You got to follow your heart
You know I'm never too far...

Away from the pain in your eyes
I can see your disguise
But it's not too late..

'Cause I know you can turn this around
Don't be scared work it out
And listen when I say

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you got to see;
Don't waste the pretty

And just in case you need reminding
Well, I you're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
And there ain't no use in hiding
'Cause you're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful

Don't waste the pretty on him
Don't waste the pretty on pain
When it gets too much to take don't give it away
Don't waste the pretty on life
Soon it's gonna fly on by
Whatever way you got to see;
Don't waste the pretty

Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't, don't, don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't, don't, don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty

Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't, don't, don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't, don't, don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty
Don't waste the pretty

i will be strong

2010-06-25T03:12:00.002+08:00

I've decided now.. To do this :)
This song inspired me :)
Sweet sliver lining by kate voegele

I'm going home downhearted and hoping
I'm close to some new beginning
I know there's a reason for everything that comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while something's keeping me safe and alive

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I won't give up like this, I will be given strength
Now that I've found it nothing can take that away

So many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing

So many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but i'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
Sweet silver lining

HAIZ

2010-06-25T02:40:00.002+08:00

Why do you have to keep confusing me?
I don't find it funny or interesting at all..
Keep lying and lying, in the end I also know its not the truth so what for lie?
I was actually feeling fine today, for a change, and you just have to...
Sigh..
Don't wanna say anymore.. Just make me feel worse?
What do you want from me actually? :(

Aly & Aj - No one

2010-06-24T13:41:00.003+08:00

I just found a song that is damn nice!

Aly & Aj No one

I'm moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
I feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?

And I ask myself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me and I tell myself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me

You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feelin' like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?

And you ask yourself, who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me, gotta tell yourself
No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me

Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to erase it all
You wonder what's it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and all the curtains

No one, no one, don't wanna be
No one, but me

We are moving through the crowd

All their songs are nice too :)
You can listen to the songs @ http://www.jango.com/music/Aly+AJ :)

ding dong bell

2010-06-24T01:39:00.002+08:00

So much things on my mind lately.. How to stop thinking when so many things happening at the same time? D:

Just feel like screaming AHHHHHH.

Felt like escaping to a deserted island?
Where is such island available here?
Today I asked mum if I can travel to another country, and the answer is obviously no.
Sad. I wonder why my siblings always get to do the things that I can't?
Cause of my health?
Or just that she just don't feel secure?
Hmmmm. Really don't know..
She says she love me that's why she do that..
How to argue with that theory?
Everywhere in this world also not safe, so I can only stay at home and rot :(

after so long

2010-06-24T00:32:00.001+08:00

Is this for real or just for the sake? Cause it seems so unreal.. Can I still believe?
Today I'm not so emo, feeling better just very tired..
Managed to cheer up a little..
Hopefully I'll become me again soon though I don't know when that will be..

Update later..

:) = :(

2010-06-23T03:28:00.002+08:00

I hope I will not be so emo soon cause its just not the girl I am and not what I wanna be.. Alright, I will not think about anything else except work. Why bother about something or somebody who don't bother about you right? Come internal locus of control.. Let's see how strong you are :)

Listen to the rhythm of the rain

2010-06-23T03:17:00.003+08:00

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go away and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again

The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart

Rain please tell me now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another when my heart's somewhere far away

The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart

Rain won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we knew start to grow

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again

Oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
Oh, oh, oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater

this is the last straw

2010-06-23T01:32:00.003+08:00

Really, I have enough of being unhappy.
Nobody can help me except for myself..
Soon, I'll master the art of pretending to be happy.. At least people around me won't be affected by me.. Not fair for them to feel unhappy cause I wasn't happy..

Today, wasn't such a good day..
Work is a mess somehow though I thought I was managing well, apparently in others' eyes, its clearly not enough. In fact it was terrible.
Received black faces all day..
Tried to look happy but its just too fake.
Laughed so hard so that I won't cry.
Sigh, why am I so weak?
Think so much then get affected by every single thing that doesn't even mean anything to the other party..
Hmmmm.. I'm such a easy target I guess..

Today stove caught fire like more than five? And the wooden spoon was placed on the stove with the fire and its not surprising black smoke is coming out of it.. However the exhaust was quick today so the smoke was all suck in and leaving no evidence behind.. Scary.. Had to put out the fire with water.. Sigh.. As if my day wasn't bad enough.. But hey, I didn't start the fire.. I'm innocent :)

People tried to cheer me up, I end up making them emo as well. -.-" So nice of me -.-" HAIZ. What can I say? I'll get over this soon I hope.. Go home that time at MRT station, some uncle come to me and ask if I'm from China and whether I'm !!!!!!!. HATE THEM. Go away! Which part of me looks like I'm doing such thing? Plus he stalked me from one exit to another.. This week work all end late.. Hope I won't see him tomorrow :( With luck like mine, damn, it sure will have.. :(

Recently don't have appetite to eat.. Weird although the food looks very delicious and appealing, just don't feel like eating.. But it's still shocking to found out that my only meat are disappearing, seriously just left bones.. Can only see bones. Gosh. No wonder I feel weak and getting falling sick.. My time's up? Maybe its not that a bad idea to break all the connections.. Less people will get hurt..

Its really scary to see that you're left with nothing, your body also left with nothing D: Someday say I'm suffering from malnutrition, and is going to be my nutritionist till I'm normal again. When I'll become normal that's a really good question? Haha. It's still very nice of him :) Felt much better..

Its so late in the night right now and I can't even sleep :( I just said it.. Now I don't know what to do.. Sigh. All these seems like my daily routine now, keep doing keep thinking the same thing..

There's something I've been trying to say.. But its just too late.. And I don't wanna try anymore.. Its just too tiring playing all these mind games.. I can never understand what you trying to say since you never say what's on your mind.. It's just pointless to do things that nobody cares about except yourself.. Isn't it?

i surrender manos al aire

2010-06-21T23:29:00.002+08:00

That's right.. I'm giving up on everything..
Won't believe there's such thing as true love.
Love don't last forever..
Won't believe that dreams will come true someday cause they don't..
Won't believe that you'll change cause you never will..
I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..
I don't even know if I'll be back..
I loved you enough to let you go
Love you enough to know that I'm not the right one for you
Not the one that you wanna
Not the one you love..
Not the one for you..
I don't want to get hurt anymore
So I'm running away first..
Catch me if you can..
But I doubt you will cause for me to get out of your life is all you ever wanted..
I can't turn to anyone at this state..
Can't tell anyone just stuck inside till I burst..
I hope that day come soon cause there won't be anymore me to irritate anyone
You're finally free..
After thinking so long..
You're finally free..
Just stop killing me..
I already knew that
You don't have to say it all over again..
I know when to get lost quietly..
I'll just say everything I can remember that I wanna say for the last time..
And you won't hear from me anymore..
I'm tired of crying tired of hurting tired of dying
If you wanna kill me, just get it right at one go, don't torture me like this..
I'm really tired..
I wish I can be happy..
And that's just too much to ask for..
Knew it was too good to be true that anyone would actually fall for a girl like me
I'm no longer confident.. Everything I do keep going wrong..
Everything I say makes things worse and they don't really mean what I wanna say..
People are using me for various purposes..
Is anybody going to save me
Can anyone save me?
I'm dying of pain..
Left with nothing but a empty shell..

DAMN im emo again D:

2010-06-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

I tried to be perfect it just doesn't worth it..
One day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reached out, I'm only fooling myself..
Sigh.. Why do I feel so sad.
Can't do anything today..
Kept thinking about things that I shouldn't be..
Feel like banging wall.. Oh wait. I already did..
Today work kept forgetting what I'm supposed to do..
The things I did can never get any smiley face from them..
Another black face.. Another lousy day..
Been daydreaming too much I guess..
Think and dream too much about things that obviously not gonna happen..
Sigh. That's why they're called dream and dream never comes true..
Too good to be true..
That's what I thought too..
Been trying to fool myself saying that I will not be unhappy..
However just like loneliness, unhappiness know me by name too :(
Its just so hard to stay happy even for a second..
Life's so great that I feel like crying..
The good thing about crying is that you'll feel much better usually after crying out loud..
BUT I have problems for crying too.. What a problematic child :(
1. Can't cry at home cause parents will ask too much, tired of saying its cause of stress..
2. Cry outside people kept staring.. If at night can't stay out too late and there's stray cats staring :(
3. I've cried so much that I think I forgot how to cry now.. No more tears left..

Guess that I'm used to getting and being hurt..
Just one day.. All I'm asking for is just one day..
To be really happy.
And I really don't mind dying after that cause for the first time, I'm finally happy..
Somehow this is also a dream that will never come true though..
He won't give me happiness, I can't find it from anybody or anywhere else too..
Sometimes I really wonder what's wrong with me..
Yeah I know I think too much and I've come to realise from this experience..
If airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars, I can really use a wish right now :(

I don't know what else to do I'm confused I'm hurt I'm depressed I'm disappointed
So I'm running away..
From now on I won't be me anymore
I will just plaster a smile on the face no matter what..
I don't want to think don't want to dream don't want to talk don't want to say don't want to listen don't want to see anymore..
I'm tired of the way I'm being treated
I'm tired of being substitute
I'm tired of being unhappy cause of you
I'm tired of being disappointed again and again and again and again..

I know everything by now.. It's crystal clear.. So clear that it just pierce me right through my already broken heart..
When can I ever be important to someone?
Be important enough to be treated well?
Why am I always being lied to?
What makes you think I won't know the truth?
It's staring straight at me but I just choose not to believe..
Now even if I try to ignore it keeps coming back..
You're never willing..
To be good to me..

Mixed and match

2010-06-21T01:09:00.003+08:00

Currently, I can't sleep.. My dream shoes is giving me a hard time :( but i still ♥ it anyway. Heh. Will get used to it.. ONE DAY! :) Almost stuck outside for the night.. T.T

Suddenly got the temptation to write something that consists nothing by lyrics.. Hmmm.. I bet only me will understand what I'm actually trying to say? Who knows.. Just waiting for my hair to drryyyyy~~

I'm over your lies
And I'm over yours games
And I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not okay
Oh, that's why your eyes I'm over it
So sure I'm over it
Realised, I'm over it, I'm over it
Wanting you to wanting me
No that's ain't the way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Cause I'm so over
Moving on it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it~

I'm not your anchor so don't hold on
I'm not the answer, you got me wrong
I'm not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me

I'm not a mirror look inside yourself
I'm not a hero you know too well
I'm not your savior save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me

And I still believe in happy endings
But this just isn't where I wanna spend mine
I believe in now I just said it

You'll be mine, forever and almost always
It ain't right to love me when you can, yeah
I won't wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you still care

We started as friends, but something happens inside me
Now I'm reading into everything but there's no sign of you hear the lightening baby

You don't ever notice me, turning on my charm
I wonder why I always where you are
I made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
I'm not so good with words
But since you never noticed
The way that we belonged
I'll sing it in a love song

I'm not the girl that you see in the magazine
Perfect face and perfect body
Never be anything but what I am, what I am
I can't bend to your expection
Look to fulfill any fantasy
But if what I am is what you need

Love me for me
And not for someone you wished that I could be
Cause what you get is what you see
I can't be anymore that what I am
Love me for me, or don't love me

According to you I'm stupid I'm useless I can't do anything right
According to you I'm difficult hard to please, forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress can't show up on time
Even if it saves my life, according to you

According to you I'm boring I'm moody, you can't take me any place
According to you I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
According to you, according to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful incredible, he can't get me out of his head
But according to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

Oh no, don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect and I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect, just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't want to pretend so this is the end for you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything everything I'm not

She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile
She'll never notice how you stop and stare
Whenever she walks by

You can't see me wanting you the way you want her
But you're everything to me
I just wanna show you she don't even know you
She'll never love you like I want to
You just see right through me
If you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

WOW. Just realised all emo songs :/ oh well.. What else do you expect from a emo kid?
But I haven't reach what I really wanna post though x.x and it's like 1.46am already.. Not tired but nothing else left to do.. Except to continue to blog and rot or go roll and sleep. D: Either way I'm stuck with emptiness.. All these songs are seriously tempting me to go SING :D But my voice sucks :( T.T SAD.

New songs to listen :)

2010-06-20T11:01:00.002+08:00

Lovely songs that I have come across recently.. Might upload the lyrics?
If I have time.. :)

1. Manos Al Aire By Nelly Furtado
2. Need You Now By Lady Antebellum
3. Solo By Iyaz
4. Almost Love By Jessica Jarrell
5. Kissing You By Miranda Cosgrove
6. According To You By Orianthi
7. Cry By Kelly Clarkson
8. Gone By Kelly Clarkson
9. Come Clean By Hilary Duff
10. Over it By Katherine Mcphee

I'll add more plus lyrics next time :) Need rush to work now -__-

0.0

2010-06-20T02:14:00.003+08:00

So I've posted 4 posts already. That was fast? Wonder is it because I haven't been typing for so long that it feels kinda weird to type again :X

I missed band, I missed my eupho. And I missed........ OH well. I'm not telling you. Just things that I won't tell anyone :( No matter how you ask.. Sigh. That's why I need to screammmmm. SIGH.

Need to wake up in like 8 hours to go work but I can't sleep.. Feeling too depressed :( Sigh. Why do I keep feeling this way.. Emo kid seriously. Somehow I lost my smile along the way.. The real smile. The sense of happiness.. To be happy and to be loved is such a luxury to me.

Am I really not worth to be treated well? :'( And you asked me why I'm sad..

Heart pain again.. Recently the frequency is getting more and more.. Maybe, I'm dying soon? End my misery soon.. Okay, it's too pain to type now.. I shall try to sleep.. Wonder if I can wake up tomorrow. Very pain..

im 19..

2010-06-20T02:04:00.002+08:00

Some little tiny updates about my birthday..

Day before, my chef bought me a cake and have a small celebration.. Gave me a surprise when I reached. SO sweet of them..

On that day itself, was supposed to meet him. But cancelled. So went out with Hw for lunch and sing. Variety of songs quite limited though so can't sing much emo songs. Dots. After that went to new york new york with family.. Had some fun there..

Received a cup with a bear stuff inside by my sister, 2 hongbao from mum and brother, a fan from dad..

Next day at work, one of my chef gave me a wallet.. The other say he helped me peel onions as present. Haha. Service colleague one made me drink, one gave me a hug. Unique presents, things that you can't buy..

Friday went out with wingyan.. She came in the middle of service to pass me the cake which is supposed to be stored in the fridge.. After work, she came over again and we went to find a place to eat.. Walked around raffles place, finally settled for lau pa sa.. Walked inside very long then decide what to eat. Had chinese dim sum.. The chee chong fun very nice :D

After that we had her cake. Peach cheese cake. Very nice. I helped her garnish. Cut the peach randomly placed on the cake and it looks like a rose :) Maybe I'm just lucky heh. Then she gave me a apron, and a handmade card with my pic. SO SWEET OF HER right.. I got a cake that she made and present <3

Walked around raffles again.. To clarke quay, act like couples saw a few taking wedding shots. Hmmmm... Then we sit down and take pics too.. Went back to raffles place.. Take more pictures.. With her cap! Haha. I so wanted to wear contact lens now :D Anyone can recommend? Hmmmm..

Best day ever. She can make me smile anyday <3 And I just know what to do on hers :) It's a secret ^^

What I wanna do right now

2010-06-20T01:55:00.002+08:00

I wanna.....

1. Go cycling
2. Go pinic
3. BE HAPPY
4. Ice skating
5. Fly kite
6. Walk along the beach during sunset :D
7. Run away to some deserted island and hide
8. Lie on the grass and look at the stars at night
9. Graduate successfully
10. Passed internship module without any problems
11. Travel around Singapore
12. Travel around the world
13. Scream
14. Go sing LALALALALA~
15. Ice cream <3
16. Buy that dress http://www.shoplah.com/Dresses/Y8548.htm
17. Get headphones and get stuck in my own world :)
18. To stop being sick
19. To stop crying
20. To be really really happy
21. Wingyan's cap D: ( But she'll help me buy ^^)

If anyone interested to help me with any of the above, I'll be glad to have some accompaniment. And I sure hope you can cheer me up!

since i can't sleep..

2010-06-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

Some other updates..

1. Didn't celebrate his birthday with him cause he cancelled.
2. Was miserable cause of alot things such as grandpa passed away in the middle of my intern and I wasn't informed earlier cause I was working
3. New responsibilities related to family
4. I keep getting sick
5. 1 year anniversary I was told that it doesn't matter
6. My birthday celebration was cancelled last minute by him, had to act like I don't care. Mood all gone.
7. Trying to act happy but failed badly
8. Alot of new songs described my mood perfectly, they're now either my ringtone or my status
9. I am confused about alot of things. One thing is GUYS.
10. I got my dream shoes, super extremely happy :)
11. Am exhausted, might be collapsing soon
12. I wanna buy that dress its very very gorgeous but don't will look good on me or not :/
13. I'm going better terms with family like my sister now which is a good thing but I still can't tell them what's killing me :(

Gosh. I'm depressed again D:

so outdated

2010-06-20T01:12:00.003+08:00

Haven't update for like 1 month? There's nothing much to say about work since I have come to realise that its almost the same every single day.. Just some new updates about work..

1. One of my chef transferred to the club
2. I changed from the deep fryer station to the salad
3. New chef came.. From shatec, just one year older than me..
4. Kitchen finally become cleaner
5. We changed cleaner for more than 10times WOW
6. I have improved? I guess.. Maybe? I hope so..

I don't know what else to say about work.. I have see through it now.. As in, I have gotten used to the way things works. AND the way certain reaction you'll get if you do or say something..

Somehow they have the perception that school won't teach us such things like cooking, which is what I've been studying.. What school taught us, is the basic, and I know will definitely be different in the industry.. But doesn't mean that it's wrong. There are more than one way to do things. Its kinda obvious right? But here, you can't do your own way EVEN IF is better. They tell you not to learn what they're doing, however you have to do what they did. Which is confusing. Especially when everyone is doing different things and they expect you to do what they are doing as they believe they're right.

Hey, I'm not saying that you're wrong, but everyone have their own stand right? I can't follow blindly without knowing what I'm doing. But if ask too much I will received comments like you work here how long already still don't know? Sometimes I just don't want to make any mistakes and to prevent that I ask.. And that is what I got..

When everybody's in bad mood. Guess who gets it? The trainee of course! :( What to do? I'm just a trainee, I have no say.. That's why I got bullied also can't say anything. Not that it happens everyday.. But still.. That manager.. Sigh.

I realised people don't really like to take responsibility, whenever there's chance they'll push the blame to someone else.. Like me. Manager told me the other day that the customer complained about me.. Saying what he called me to call the service staff when in the first place he never even talk to me.

He waved. Yeah, I saw but I wasn't the service staff. ITS VERY VERY OBVIOUS SINCE I"M WEARING CHEF WHITE. Still, I turned my head, one head pouring drinks but facing guest. Manager walking towards him. The other staff taking orders but facing him as well. So there's THREE people looking at him right. So I continued to do my work as I was carrying alot of things at that time.

Oh, I was sent to collect things to do the mise en place by the way. But when I returned. 1. I got scolded for taking too many things saying the kitchen is too small but he say go take. 2. Manager say guest complain me. HOW GREAT?

Immediately my mood become very bad. I just keep quiet. I mean, you don't expect me to scream at them right? I tried to explain myself, but to them it's always either finding excuses or being rude. Kitchen can be noisy, with the machines working, water flowing, radio playing, people talking. Sometimes people can't hear what you talking so you speak louder. Aha. Once you become louder, they say you're being rude. Great.

My internal locus of control really need to be improved on.. Cause that day.. I was feeling very unhappy and with people keep saying and saying. I lost control of my tears.. Sigh. Embarrassed myself again. Too emotional.. :(

I tried my best, really to do well cause this is what I wanna do.. But. When your effort is not being appreciated, when they say you're forgetting what they taught when you didn't, when they say you're insulting your school cause you're so lousy in what you're doing, when you're being scolded for things that you didn't do, when you're just trying so badly to fit in and be happy.. And none of it goes exactly the way you planned it.. Its just depressing.. But you still have to smile and stuff everything else inside your small little heart hoping it won't burst..

That's why I am unhappy. Come to work happily, people give you black face all the way. Try to cheer them up, say jokes, they say you're not concentrating on your work. Concentrating on your work, they talk to you if your reply is not being heard, you're being rude. So you know what? My conclusion is, guys are weirder than girls. -.- Sigh. Just too complicated for me..

All these depressing stuff makes me wonder am I really suitable to be in this line.. So motivating not. I really like working here.. Just that its getting more and more demoralising.. Sad. Daph, please get used to these soon and be happy again..

(0.0)

2010-05-05T00:31:00.002+08:00

I have realised that I haven't been updating for very very long. 1 week behind now.. However I can't really update now due to the fact that I've to wake up early tomorrow for work and I need to sleep soon though I've no feeling of sleeping D:

So I'll update tomorrow I guess.. But wingyan coming over :) So I see my mood :P Recently on the radio heard alot of good songs with meaningful lyrics.. Will post them soon to increase temptation :D

Some really describes my mood at a certain point in time, learnt how to sing the songs in like within 15mins? If only I have this power for my studies then I'll never have to worry about my grades again.. Haha. Too bad for me :(

My computer is getting more and more lag and my posts and updates are getting shorter and shorter as I forgot to update and when I update I forgot what happened days ago. So much for my memory..

But recently wasn't in very good mood however I believe that wasn't the reason to my not updating cause I enjoy typing.. Maybe its just plain lazy. Highly possible HAHA. I'm going to make a blog skin soon.. When I have time :) I wonder when will that be?

Everyday headache about what to wear to work.. SIGH. Got clothes but I don't know what to wear :(

IMPT FOR YOU TO KNOW

2010-04-30T01:12:00.001+08:00

HEY HEY whoever that is reading.. This is very important!

All the previous posts are from last week cause I didn't have time to update! SO the last post is actually last Thursday. That's right, you didn't see wrongly.. Its last Thursday.. Haha. I'll update from last Friday to today, Friday after work today :)

Stay tuned if you're interested ♥

FHA 2010

2010-04-30T00:29:00.002+08:00

Today went to work in the morning, did opening awhile.. Practically I only stayed there for at most 1 hour then I went to expo for the food and hotel asia 2010. The reason why I can go on weekday is cause there's a training at expo later on that day too but more to that later -.-" You will understand my expression later too..

So I traveled about 30mins on train.. Reach destination super excited.. Oh, I went there alone cause everyone went already.. Anyway so I reached there, I don't know what to do.. Kinda lost..

Luckily, there's a tour guide sort of, telling us where to go. So I take the shuttle bus to hall 9 to get my free admission pass ♥ Guess what the pass say? I'm the food and beverage operator! HAHA. So funny but quite cool :) Started at hall 9, its all the food and wines..

Strolled around taking some samples, as I'm still sick, I controlled what I try.. So sad. Throughout the whole event, I only take brochures, drink fruit juices and eat bread. Plus my stupid auntie come find me today as well so stomach cramp even more food can't eat. ARGH. Tell me about it -.-" People spent $80 then can get in, me get in free but I can't eat anything and can't find anything free except for brochures too. Haha. Super lucky I know -.-"

Anyway I walked around saw things that interest me like the different types of food and the quality.. Saw the machinery as well those, the equipments and stuff makes me start thinking more about what I wanna buy for my future home and cafe! Hehe am I thinking too far? HMMMMM..

Oh ya. I saw wingyan and yingying today! Went to find them in the fair and got free coffee :D So happy to see them ^^ But can't talk much cause they working.. SO SAD :( Walked around, from hall 9 to 1.. At hall 3 saw competition and lecturer, we got gold! COOL! Saw zeus and haoqing also .. Haha. But I was rushing for the training so I went off early.. Haven't see finish yet just leave..

I returned my badge. What a wrong decision. Regretted not keeping it for souvenir.. SIGH. I couldn't find my way to changi business park outlet so I took a taxi plus I'm late. What a waste of money. Extra charge cause from expo, the worse thing is I get there only to know that I already attended the training before only at another outlet. GOSH. Waste money. Returned badge can't go back in. So sad. Seriously, I'm depressed. Walked out of the park, had some difficulty getting back to the mrt station..

In the end I returned to my outlet to punch out.. Some things very sucky I don't want to mention here. But thanks to wingyan I'm happy again now. HEHE. ♥

After that I went home. I will go next year!!

after tues is wed..

2010-04-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Feeling slightly better.. Chef cooked another pot of herbal tea for me.. Today is the day where I had to stay late.. So they kept asking whether I'm okay anot..

Did some work.. Time passed very slowly.. Especially when there's nothing much to do..

So at times I find something to do like cleaning up.. Or I just sit down and stare at the surrounding.. Walk around.. Paced up and down.. Talk.. Daydream.. Yeah, cause there's no business..

Then I went home. Still sick but better..

tues after mon

2010-04-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

Went to work sick. Low energy level cough non stop. Feeling dizzy and giddy..

Chefs didn't let me do too much work keep asking me to rest. Head chef cooked herbal tea 2 times for me cause he want me to recover faster and reduce the heat in my body. So nice right?

During lunch I was kinda struggling to move fast, luckily they told me to take my time.. So I'm not so stressed. After lunch hour, they made me go outside sit down and rest while they prepare lunch.. The staff meal..

Did some mise en place though I can't really remember exactly what I did.. I was very blur.. Sigh.. Went home feeling very giddy..

that monday

2010-04-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

Only one word to describe this day : sick.

In fact I'm very sick. Went to work in the afternoon..

Woke up feeling weird. Go work weird.

Managed to cooked rice, garlic bread and stuff.. Saw a friend came from another outlet.

Can't take it anymore so had to rest..

last sunday

2010-04-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

Reached work tasks all done by my chef already.. So nothing much to do..

Brought butternut squash, once finished lunch orders and not so busy, its time to learn more about carving..

Butternut is a little hard on the outside and soft inside, so its not very difficult to cut.. The difference of the colour on the skin and flesh can be seen very clearly too..

First my chef showed me how he cut fish.. I see take a pic.. End.

Then he teach me how to carve on the squash.. He open up for me then I continued.. Total carved 4 flowers! But cause I say wanna bring home then he cut away the not nice flowers.. Haha. Really need to improve on my skills :)

Pictures wise.. Kinda lazy to upload..

fri fri fri fri fri fri fri fri

2010-04-17T23:40:00.002+08:00

Start at 10, today very slow don't know why.. Maybe cause I didn't have enough sleep the previous night cause I was too unhappy..

Service flow was alright.. People came to borrow things, come and go.. Finished mise en place for the day and weekend quite fast..

Lunch received bad news. Waited for nothing. Had lunch come back, still nothing much to do.. Clean up the kitchen....

Then we talked and make fun of each other.. Relaxed abit more.. Nothing much to say..

I practically emo the whole day..

At night panic and worried like crazy but I don't feel like explaining here.. Kinda pointless cause it won't help..

SOLO

2010-04-17T23:34:00.007+08:00

I said I don't want to walk this earth if I gotta do it solo.

See girl we used to be a team
Runnin the streets (yeah)
We was living out our dream (ohh)
You used to be my rider
I was your provider
Now we separated in two
Oh we was burning up the block(yeah)
And everybody know when we step in the spot(ohh)
See, we was like the dynamic duo
Id never thought that you'd go, but you did uh, yeah you did

Oh baby you left and sailed away alone (Yeah, alone)
And now you got me trapped up on this island
Where nowhere to get home

And I don't wanna go, go
I don't wanna go, go
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo)

Cuz I was so high
And now im so low
And I don't wanna walk around alone, solo
Said I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo, solo)

You was the beat on to my top line,
Put us together
And you'd have to hit rewind
See, you give me a purpose
Now I'm getting nervous
That my heart will never sing again
Oh, when we was runnin up the airways,
They knew us from the Virgin Islands to the U.K.
See, we was on the way to the platinum and gold
Never thought that you'd go but you did ya, ya you did.

Oh baby you left and sailed away alone (Yeah, alone)
And now you got me trapped up on this island
Where nowhere to get home

And I don't wanna go, go
I don't wanna go, go
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo)

Cuz I was so high
And now im so low
And I don't wanna walk around alone, solo
Said I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo, solo)

I don't wanna walk S-O-L-O
(no no no)
I don't wanna walk S-O-L-O

"Oo uh oh,oh uh oh,
Oo uh oh oh oh uh oh,"

I don't wanna walk((S-O-L-O))

And I don't wanna go,go
I don't wanna go, go
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't wanna it no, no
I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo)

Cuz I was so high
And now im so low
And I don't wanna walk around alone,(Solo)
Said I don't want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo, solo)

why oh why is this happening to me?

2010-04-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

I'm really disappointed nowadays.. Disappointed with myself.. & the fact that I'm not even as important as your _______ & your_____. Sigh. What can I say?

Maybe I shouldn't say anymore.. Just hurting myself this way.. Sigh.. I just wish this is a nightmare and I can wake up from it.. But too bad.. It just isn't.. Its cold hard reality..

Really tired and stressed.. From work and _____.

What's happening to me? What's happening to us? What will happen to us? I really don't know.. And I think its best if I don't hope anymore..

I've lost. I give up. I surrender. I just can't do it anymore.. Too tiring & you're not helping..

You only get one shot, so make it count you might never get this moment again..

The clock is ticking down, its the final round..

So tell me what is it stopping you now?

You never know, unless you try, you'll only regret sitting wondering at night..

You only get one shot so watch this moment go by.. When love's on the line..

This is really last chance.. I can't take another blow.. Don't force me to say goodbye.

training again

2010-04-16T00:55:00.003+08:00

Start 10 reached earlier hang outside wait.

Prepare finished fast, thought of making breakfast to eat then suddenly bam, all orders non stop come in.. First take away, order this and that prepare finished, complaint. Guess what? We cut our brownie in triangle shape, she complain say brownie is not supposed to be triangle must be square/rectangular, what the hell? Isn't it the same taste? This is just a form of presentation -.-" In the end she got 2 portions of brownies for freeeeeee! Each cost 7bucks here which means 14bucks bye bye already.. -.-"

At 1, I finally have time to continue making my "breakfast".. My chefs packed into lunch box for me ^^ Haha. They say I'm going training = going school so must have lunch box.. So cute! Hehe. I got burger, fries and wings.. :P

Thought I was going to be late so I took cab down.. 3bucks.. Reached only to realise I'm the only one there.. Wasted money.. Waited for 40mins plus plus.. GOSH

Training was something we learnt in year 1, so everything can answer.. Food knowledge.. Very basic.. Had ice breaking again. Activity like cutting stuff.. Then the end.

This time round I don't have to go back after this cause my work end at 6! xP HEH. Accompanied MJ and her colleague to work.. So romantic, sharing small umbrella.. Haha. The 3 of us.. Half wet though..

Went to her outlet and explore.. Kitchen bigger but bar and dining area is smaller.. 0.0 But quite cool surrounding.. No need walk so far like mineeeeeeeee.... Anyway this is allll...

1210

2010-04-15T23:58:00.003+08:00

Such long hours.. So bored nothing to do.. Went to work at 12pm.. Purposely took cab down to collect receipt.. Lost the previous one.. Need evidence for my not yet written letter D:

When I reached, immediately do orders.. Service etc etc etc.. Then break for awhile.. Mise en place was very fast done cause not much to do.. My chef told me to go home by mistake at 5plus.. Haha. But in the end I didn't leave..

Made Japanese potatoes, washed kitchen.........

At night doing closing with another chef.. Quite bored so keep eating.. Suddenly alot orders came in.. Then gone again.. Changed oil halfway, more orders non stop.. -.-" Become very messy cause everything everywhere as we were keeping things already plus the oil stuff..

Oh yes, I bet no one will cut their hand more retarded than me... My palm got stuck inside the tongs, don't know why.. I had trouble taking out so had to pull.. Together with my flesh & of course it bleeds.. For maybe 10mins I couldn't talk cause was too pain.. -.-"

Anyway I went home slightly later then 10 cause I stayed to help out abit more.. However, I was being told to go home cause he say he can handle.. HAHA.

tirednessssssss

2010-04-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today almost late. Luckily didn't.. Setting up was alright.. Learnt how to cook rice on the stove..

Service was slow, nothing much to do.. Lunch's great! Haha. But we've been eating the same thing for like 3 days now so ... Its still nice though except for my sore throat..

Mise en place didn't do much cause others worked too fast. By the time I finished lunch only left burger patty.. Burger patty they say need use alot strength so they also don't let me do.. So end up I just did the shaping.. However today I learnt how to use a chopper to chop chicken! Haha. A sense of achievement..

Wash kitchen float here and there and its the end of the day.. Nothing special happen..

today today today today

2010-04-13T00:27:00.002+08:00

Overslept. Though my parents tried to wake me up a few times, I can't get up. My alarm clock didn't ring -.-" By the time I get up, its already 9.15 and I'm working morning shift! Changed, get ready, 9.30..

Went to take cab. Waited for 25mins.. Confirm late already.. Text my chefs and inform them.. I got evidence to write a complaint letter now since there's huge difference..

Very slow.. They said I wasn't thinking which is true cause I'm too tired to think.. Mise en place as usual.. Nothing special..

Today I learnt how to cook rice on the stove.. Make fish & co fish & chip, yeah, thats about all.. I kept playing trying to keep myself awake.. Oh, then we washed the whole kitchen.. We got a new dishwasher, cause the old one is sick and went back to his country.. -.-

This new one can understand English better.. And he creeping me out.. He asked for my number for no reason! Scary. I told my chef about this, he said give him his number.. Haha. I don't wanna know what he'll say if he got my number.. And he asked if I'm from China.. DOTS. Kinda immune to this now but still very .........

I went home not feeling very happy.. Cause of this & that.. Ah, too complicated.. Just hope tomorrow will be a better day..

sigh..

2010-04-13T00:25:00.001+08:00

Recently mood very bad.. Hence didn't write much.. Grandpa stuff, mum stuff, work stuff, school stuff, relationship stuff.. Driving me insane.. Sigh. Really don't know what to say anymore..

Cherish while you can or you surely will regret.. UNLESS you don't care, then its a totally different issue altogether..

ARGH. BAD MOOD >:(

final journey

2010-04-13T00:14:00.003+08:00

My mum finally could not control herself anymore.. Just don't know how to comfort her.. Seeing her cry, make me wanna cry too..

The final ritual and we sent him off his final journey..

At the temple, one last ritual and he was gone.. Can't see him anymore.. Nor can I hear his voice anymore.. But at least.. He don't have to suffer anymore.. He can do whatever he want, sleep all the things he wanted to eat, play all the games he want.. And he'll be with his parents, and my 1st aunt.. I'm sure they will take good care of him..

After that, we went to have our lunch.. And we went back to grandma house to pack the things.. Stayed for awhile more before we went back home..

Very tired but I just can't sleep. My mum is exhausted, immediately fall asleep. Sister used computer awhile then sleep, my brother is the same.. As everyone is asleep.. I went to buy dinner.. At first they say they want chicken rice (in their sleep) then they ask why chicken rice again when they wake up -.-"

Night can't sleep again.. Only fall asleep at 1 plus.. You can guess what happened.. -.-"

You will always be in my heart..

last night....

2010-04-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

Today everyone have to stay overnight.. Edi and his friend drove to fetch me to my grandma place.. It was raining.. Quite heavily.. As if the sky is crying for our loss of our dear grandpa..

Reached there quite early in the morning.. Sit and talk with them till about noon..

Lunch, but no appetite..

Played pranks on my second uncle.. Chat with aunt and uncles..

Wait, sit, walk, chat, eat, go upstairs, come downstairs, go in go out, sms, on the phone till my cousins came..

Lend them my phone to play.. Teach them homework.. Then go up cause phone no battery.. Charge, play, sleep.

its was 3rd day

2010-04-12T00:40:00.002+08:00

Today almost overslept cause too tired.. Work was alright.. They let me off earlier cause they knew I'll be going to the wake.

Nothing much to do during work.. Made beef stock.. Using powder.. They said I used too much water so had to reduce longer.. Well.. I'm just doing according to the recipe.. Oh well..

So I went home to change, bathe, took the cab down.. Nothing much I can do that except entertain guests.. Keep my younger cousins occupied by playing games.. Entertain my aunt friends.. Don't know why everyone keep staring at me as if they knew me when I never seen them before..

Most of them confused with me and my sister.. They thought I'm the younger one.. So you know what my sister say? She said cause I looked more childish -.-" Whatever..

Tonight, my brother and sister staying overnight while me and dad went home.. Too tired..